Seeing as I just started this blog, I figured I might as well copy over some of my better works from my previous blog: Webcomics Commentary. Here's one I was rather happy with, and it may give you an idea of what kind of content I may post here. I have no idea how good it will look on my theme yet either.
... Let’s try to go in a bit deeper this week. There will be some minor Homestuck spoilers in this one.
Squiddles Is a children’s cartoon intended for kids between 1 and 6 years old. The cartoon has since branched off into multi-media territory, including a popular toy line. The creator of the series was inspired to start a children’s cartoon by the eldritch horrors that appear in the eternally pitch-black sky of the dark gothic planet that they find themselves on in their dreams. At least, that’s what must have happened in the universe of Homestuck. Squiddles is, perhaps luckily, only fictional.
These creatures are, to use a cliché, fucking metal. They literally created the universe inhabited by the Troll species (which, in turn, created the universe we live in). Also, when one of these creatures died, its final cry killed off (to round it up) 100% of the Troll population, spread over their entire universe. They are literally referred to as “Horrorterrors”. Some “Derse Dreamer”, then, must have looked up at these monsters and thought “wow, I suddenly feel really inspired to write a kids cartoon!” It’s ridiculous!
The main reason I’m rather obsessed with Squiddles is because its existence is such a beautiful combination of baby fodder and Lovecraftian horror. The creatures really are cute, and you may be hardpressed to find anything particularly objectionable in the show. From what we’ve seen in the webcomic, it seems like Squiddles is much less creepy than something like Ren and Stimpy or Courage the Cowardly Dog. But even without having ever seen a single frame of the show, I know that it isn’t as pure as it may seem.
It is easy to fantasize about what the Squiddles TV show may have been like, in particular because its soundtrack can actually be found on Bandcamp. It’s actually one of the many pieces of Homestuck music that was made by its Music Contribution Team. Hussie sadly never used much of it, as Squiddles never took on a larger part of the plot, but there’s a lot of content to dig into. Most of the Squiddles! album is actually pretty cute: it’s better music than you would expect for a cartoon with such a young demographic, but it’s not unthinkable. “Mister Bowman Tells You About the Squiddles” is a catchy call-and-response song that could get anyone to sing along, and basically everything in the first half of the album is simply nice atmospheric cuteness. However, as you’re listening to it, the cracks begin to show. The backstory of villain Skipper Plumbthroat feels surprisingly real and sad, one of the Squiddles’ mothers was killed by a unicorn, and even songs like “Mister Bowman …” don’t feel entirely right. These are not the kind of things you expect from a cartoon with the same target audience as Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street. The album completely breaks down at the end, with the “End Theme” including lyrics such as
- “So let them get to bed right now, so they can rest and make cute sounds … Plumbthroat in his fishing boat – is gonna kill the Squiddles if they don’t get any sleep. So let them sleep.
- “Because they will die if they don’t get any sleep.
- “Plumbthroat has thing for killing insomniac jellyfish.
- “It’s not a pretty sight.”
This is messed up.
But Squiddles! isn’t my personal favorite Homestuck album just because of its creepy background. It’s also genuinely beautiful, and I can’t stress that enough. “Friendship is Paramount” has this beautiful high-pitch melody with awesomely atmospheric bridges, while songs like “Tentacles” and “Lazybones” bring in some real character. “Ocean Stars” suggests an absolutely gorgeous water landscape like you expect it in a Shinkai Makato film, and songs like “Sun-Speckled Squiddly Afternoon” is the kind of background music I want to hear while just sitting in my yard in the sun chilling. Squiddles! has a lot of variety and is really memorable.
If Squiddles were an actual cartoon, I’d probably want to watch it. Just thinking about its eldritch repercussions makes me feel excited. It may be difficult to understand if you haven’t read Homestuck (it may even be difficult to understand if you have!), but this primitive-looking cartoon is one of my favorite things of the whole webcomic.
But Squiddles! isn’t my personal favorite Homestuck album just because of its creepy background. It’s also genuinely beautiful, and I can’t stress that enough. “Friendship is Paramount” has this beautiful high-pitch melody with awesomely atmospheric bridges, while songs like “Tentacles” and “Lazybones” bring in some real character. “Ocean Stars” suggests an absolutely gorgeous water landscape like you expect it in a Shinkai Makato film, and songs like “Sun-Speckled Squiddly Afternoon” is the kind of background music I want to hear while just sitting in my yard in the sun chilling. Squiddles! has a lot of variety and is really memorable.
If Squiddles were an actual cartoon, I’d probably want to watch it. Just thinking about its eldritch repercussions makes me feel excited. It may be difficult to understand if you haven’t read Homestuck (it may even be difficult to understand if you have!), but this primitive-looking cartoon is one of my favorite things of the whole webcomic.
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